If you use netlink operations directly, you can have the kernel filter
on various criteria and only get the socket entries you are interested in.

Do any developers care to take another look at current software design options?

This whole discussion has zero to do with what text format 'ss' outputs.

Is there a need to improve the software documentation any further?

Which programming interface should be used to check the receive queue
for a single port (without retrieving more network data before)?

Regards,
Markus