quoted

But i'm also having trouble finding where dwmac4_disable_dma_irq() is
actually called. It is called from stmmac_disable_rx_queue() and
stmmac_disable_tx_queue() but they only seem to be used in the XDP
code.

Afaict these are called through the stmmac_stop_rx macro which maps to the function pointers in dwmac410_dma_ops.
So this actually gets called from stmmac_suspend via stmmac_stop_all_dma.