Lastly, the thing that motivated me to make an issue out of this was
several recent complaints, by my funders, that it's gotten increasingly
difficult to get work done on the lists lately without showing up at
conferences and shmoozing with the right people. I've noticed that as
well.

That's something we do need to address, and I see a common thread
between that and dismissive/authoritarian behaviour, and I think those
of us at the highest level (i.e. CoC board members) should be mindful of
how we set the tone for everyone else.

Yes, we're all Busy Important People (TM), but doing our jobs well
requires us to engage well with people.

I think that should be prioritized at least as much as "language". It's
not just about what words we use to communicate, it's about whether
we're able to communicate effectively or at all.

Couple's therapists say they can tell in a few minutes if a relationship
is worth salvaging or if it's beyond repair - and it comes down to if
they come in displaying anger or dismissiventess. Anger can be worked
through, dismissiveness means they no longer care.

I find the same is true with engineers. When people are pissed off about
something, that anger is often pointing to some important issue
underneath that, and getting to the bottom of it is going to hava a big
payoff. But when teams stop being able to work together - when people
start getting silod, afraid to stick their head up - that's really bad.

Vannevar Bush said that all he did was get people to talk to each other.